


Keeping me warm

by Abc_gloor



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: IT’S SHORT soRry, M/M, Sad, donghyuck and renjun are soulmates, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 15:24:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17531297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abc_gloor/pseuds/Abc_gloor
Summary: donhyuck keeps renjun warm in january





	Keeping me warm

after every fun activity there is a certain sadness holding people from enjoying every moment of their lives. that’s why everyone’s least favorite month is 

it’s the new year and everyone tries and fails to keep up with their resolutions. the warmth december brought has left and only the cold of the winter is left. january seems to go on forever and ever.

that’s why renjun now feels cold. he didn’t need christmas or the new year to keep him warm, he just needed donghyuck.  
now that he’s gone he doesn’t know how to feel warm.

he knows he needed to leave and as much as he wanted to follow him he knew he had to stay here. here where it doesn’t feel like home anymore, even if he has lived here all his life.  
he doesn’t know when he life started to revolve around one certain boy and he didn’t mind before. as he didn’t know he would ever have to say goodbye.

they were only four years when they met and he knows that maybe the reason he doesn’t really know how to live without him is because he doesn’t have any real memories of him living without knowing him.

it’s not just a certain obsession he has with the boy, because it’s just the way all people think about their family. and donghyuck was family after all. not in the brotherly way though.  
no, donghyuck and renjun have never been brothers.

in every way they saw each other as family, but the term they liked to use to describe the other was always soulmate.

and they were, the time they spend together was all bliss.

of course that didn’t mean that they had a fairy tail life, no not at all. 

they had their ups and downs like every person. hardships to live through, moments where life wasn’t so perfect. there is no life without imperfection after all.

to name one, it was the fact that they only had each other. their family was so font of their friendship, ‘brothers for life’ they used to call it. until they realized it wasn’t just friendship between them.

see in their time it wasn’t really common to see boys as more than just friends, even if all they did was just love each other.

so their life wasn’t all bliss but their time with each other is.

well apart from one time that is, they don’t like to talk or even think about, but it is always in the back of their minds.

when they finally got away from their family and moved in together when they got to college, it was hard battling both school, hobbies and their relationship.

next to their studies, renjun took up an internship at the stargazing centre right next to the university and donghyuck started dancing classes.  
to them it was never the lack of love that drove them apart that one time in their second year. they shared their room but it felt like they were never together.

renjun tried to ignore it for as long as possible, not wanting to admit that donghyuck was slipping away.

but when they had their fifth fight of the week, and it was only thursday, he had enough. somewhere in his mind he knew they would find the way back to each other but he needed a break.

they still lived together but it felt empty, donghyuck was gone when renjun was got back from stargazing centre and came back long after he slept.

renjun tried to ignore thinking about what donghyuck was doing but he feared donghyuck had found another.

it was obvious to him that he hadn’t when three months after their break donghyuck came crying to him about how much he had missed him.  
renjun was so busy that he had totally missed that it was their anniversary. they promised that they would try to take it slow and this time it worked.

it was the first and only time they broke up and have been going steady ever since.

so it was not a shock that on donghyuck’s 25th birthday party, a private party with only them in their small apartment, renjun proposed.

gay marriage wasn’t legal and they still had to hide the fact that they were together often but they saw it as a promise that they would always be together.

till this day they had kept that promise.  
they never actually got to marry, people still hadn’t grown up but donghyuck always kept the ring. he even got a ring for renjun.

the rings matched, but not too good because they couldn’t be obvious.

it was sometimes sad that they couldn’t show the world their love but they showed it small gestures.  
getting flowers and giving it to each other in private, going on dates when it was already dark and holding hands under the table. they were sometimes that the love in their lives was so obvious that people would notice.

luckily till this day they hadn’t. except for one person.

they were on one of their dates and someone, they now know as mark, said he knew the way they looked at each other. he said it was the same way he used to look at someone.

they didn’t ask too many questions but they all knew why he said ‘used to.’ during that time everyone knew why.

even if their weird friendship started mysterious, they all came to know that mark wasn’t as mysterious. he was an open book once you took the time to get to know him. apparently not many people took that time.

mark was one of the only people to know of their relationship and the only other people they both trusted their life with.

mark never found someone knew but with the two of them he never felt alone.

well now it’s only one.

see for renjun it’s gonna be ‘used to’ soon too.  
right now it has been many years since they met each other, years since they moved into their apartment, even years since they met mark.  
but it was still too soon.

the person who always kept him warm during january, who never let the cold get the better of him and kept everyone around him warm, is gone now.

the car was just driving a little too fast and the ice was just a little too slippy.

renjun wants to follow him, wants to follow him everywhere.  
but he knows he can’t.

he knows donghyuck won’t be lonely, but mark will. he needs to be with him and he needs to live his best life alone. for himself and for donghyuck.

even if it’ll be cold.

he’ll always be cold.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first thing i wrote in months bc my wifi at starbucks sucked so it’s really short and rushed kinda. Also i wrote the first thing that came to me so that’s why it might suck. Also i know it might be confusing but im trying to get back into writing and putting more work into it.  
> Please let me know what you all think and dont forget to keep warm this january <3


End file.
